Which is the right beer for you?, a selector quiz

Alcoholic Beverages

Which is the right beer for you?

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A SelectSmart.com Alcoholic Beverages Selector by Mike Neilson, created January 2001. This is a simple test designed to figure out which beer is best suited for you. It is has situational questions so that you can return on different nights with different budgets/frames of mind/aspirations and the exam will produce different answers suited for each occasion. Disclaimer.

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Your first question is below.

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1. Do you feel like spending less than $20 on a case of beer?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

2. Are you looking for a dark beer?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

3. Does your hair often attract attention when you are in public (has anyone ever whispered/yelled the word "mullet" while laughing and pointing)?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

4. Do you think of yourself as being a pretty smart person?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

5. Do you like the taste of yak's blood, vomit, or Coors Light?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

6. Are you easily confused by bottles, especially ones that aren't twist tops?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

7. Have you ever punctured holes in a can of beer for the purpose of drinking it faster?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

8. ...ever tried it with a bottle (retard)?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

9. And how about those fine malt beverages in "perfectly sized" 40 oz. containers? Do you like them?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

10. Do you puke often?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

11. Do you like those little tiny umbrellas in your drinks?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

12. Do you like to discuss politics?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

13. Do you drive a foriegn car?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

14. Do you watch NASCAR?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

15. Do you refer to soda as "pop"?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

16. Do you like a good cigar?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

17. Does "Lite" beer seem a little weak to you?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

18. Do you like Mexican beers?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

19. ...how about Mexican beers with urine?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

20. Are you in college

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

21. Are you cheap?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

22. Are you trying to impress a girl?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

23. Are you just trying to get drunk enough to forget that you just got laid off from some stupid dotcom, such as "selectsmart.com" ?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

24. Is Queen Elizabeth II hot or what?

Yes 👍

No 👎

No preference 🤔

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

Now that you have answered all the questions, continue to the
Show Me My Results! button below.

Just for fun, predict your #1 result. Your prediction will not influence your results.

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