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PhilosophySociological Theories/Philosophies
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A Philosophy Selector by Meist, created October 2006.
I had no ulterior motive for creating this selector, I was simply bored and had nothing better to do than examine (sometimes solemnly, sometimes mockingly; in some cases, both solemnly and mockingly) several sociological schools of thought. No statement wholly defines the position of its related theory or theories, but every statement represents, with perhaps a little humorous license here and there, the position of some people who adhere to its related theory or theories. Disclaimer.
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The first selector question is below.

1. Society is characterised by two distinct classes: the bourgeoisie, consisting of aristocrats, businessmen, socio-politically potent professionals and the petty bourgeoisie (traders and socio-politically insignificant professionals); and the proletariat, consisting of the upper bourgeoisie's serfs, who are regarded as insentient economic resources, expendable pawns in a game of corporate chess. The former own the means of production and make rules and laws that are predominantly in their own interest; disseminate (via educational institutions, for example) values, norms and ideologies crafted to keep the proles in their place; dumb the proles down with the brain-candy of the mass media; and do all kinds of other beastly, oppressive, mean-spirited things.
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2. All ideologies founded upon membership of a vast, socio-politically constructed cultural group (be it a class, gender, race, nationality or mainstream religion or political party) are hollow generalisations that suffocate individuals' personal qualities and produce humourless rabbles of doctrinaire automatons who clamour for group liberties, oblivious to the fact that they are enslaved in the only meaningful sense -- as individuals. No individual is wholly separate from society, but no individual can be adequately defined either by society or by any of society's sub-groupings.
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3. Every facet of every individual’s being is genetically predetermined, and so too, therefore, is every form of social interaction.
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4. The ideal society would be all-lesbian.
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5. If, like me, you agreed with the above statement, would you (again like me) need to undergo a sex change in order to live in that society?
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6. It is necessary for a society to have a set of common values. Our society has a set of common values. God benevolently creates a small minority of deviants in order to strengthen the decent, right-minded majority’s faith in those values.
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7. There is no universal quality of deviance by which people can be distinguished as deviant. A “deviant” is merely someone who is caught infringing upon one or more of the predominant axioms within his/her social, political and cultural contexts.
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8. Men are naturally aggressive, competitive and hard-hearted; women, on the other hand, are naturally pacific, amiable and caring. Those who diverge from their type are degenerate biological malfunctions.
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9. From birth, boys and girls are socialised into traditional gender roles. First comes the primary phase, in which they are taught by parental praise and admonition to behave in a manner deemed appropriate of their sex. It is followed by the secondary phase, in which they see all their parents’ values reaffirmed in school, in the media and, once they are adults, in the workplace.
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10. Just as someone branded as a criminal and/or deviant might adopt the identity imposed upon him/her by society, so a pupil might accept the label that a teacher applies to him/her. By behaving towards their pupils in a way that solicits a response congruous with their existing definition of them, teachers fulfil their own prophecies.
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11. Socialisation can teach a god to act like a dog, but it cannot teach a dog to act like a god.
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12. Education plays a crucial, meritocratic role in society, ensuring that the most able people, regardless of their social background, attain the highest positions.
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13. Far from playing an enlightening, potential-nurturing role in society, education is, with its elitist public and private schools and its imposition of middle-class values, a façade behind which the existing class structure is reproduced.
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14. The gulf between public/private schools and state schools is not as vast as the gulf between the best state schools and the worst state schools. Middle-class egalitarians might send their children to a quality state school and then smugly pat themselves on the back and chastise their stuck-up neighbours for sending their children to an “elitist” school, but they’re relieved that they don’t have to send their children to a riotous inner-city state school.
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15. All pornography involving women is immoral and degrading, because it reduces them to the status of objects used to gratify the predatory male sex-drive.
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16. Pornography is cool. Feminists who oppose it apply absolute, hegemonic interpretations to subjective imagery, demonising male sexuality (and the sexuality of other females) with their sublimated puritan morality.
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17. Talcot Parsons is the best of all possible sociologists.
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18. The more vigilantly one tries to avoid one cultural snare, the more blindly one falls into another.
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