Which Bunch of Evil Bastards Would You Fit Into? – Free Religion multiple choice Quiz & Selector

Which Bunch of Evil Bastards Would You Fit Into?

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A SelectSmart.com Religion Selector by Enduo Ril, created September 2005. Just a goofy little quiz thing. Tells what group of evil or just plain stupid bastards you'd fit into most. Don't take it too seriously. Disclaimer

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1. Is any race superior to any other?

2. What's your opinion on the Holocaust?

It never happened! It's a lie in those American history books!

It was one of the most horrible things to happen in the 20th century.

They started off good, but they never did finish killing off those Jews!

Uh, what's that there word mean?

Well, they killed gay people too, so I guess it wasn't THAT bad.

Not sure

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3. Which of the following is the best way to brutally kill someone you dislike?

4. What was the worst change to happen in America in the past 300 years?

5. Will the South rise again?

YEEEEE-HAW!

No, because we will blow it all up!

Of course not. That's just silly.

Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But as long as they keep voting Republican, it's OK!

Maybe, but it'll have to become 100% Christian first. And kick out all the black people.

It SHOULD be rising any time now... there ain't many gay people there!

Not important

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6. Is there still slavery in America?

Yes--the slaves just aren't humans.

Of course not! We outlawed slavery after the Civil War.

No, but there SHOULD be, dammit!

Who needs slaves? I've got a WIFE!

Not sure

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7. Abraham Lincoln was...

The 16th President, who freed the slaves.

The guy who started the Republican party!

Some damn fool who got rid of all our slaves!

Uh, some guy in a big hat with a beard?

No opinion

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8. George W. Bush is...

THE GREAT SATAN!!!11!!11!1!

A good Christian man who got fairly elected President... twice.

One evil bastard.

The best President ever!

A good guy, since he lets factories bypass those dumb environmental laws.

He's white, and that's all that matters.

Yee-haw, he's from Texas! Kick-ass!

Not sure

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9. True or False: a woman's place is in the kitchen.

True

False

It doesn't matter as long as she isn't a lesbo.

No opinion

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10. The female orgasm is...

A myth invented by feminists.

A myth invented by lesbians.

Exists, just like any other kind of orgasm.

Oh, no! Don't talk about sex! Sex is an evil horribly dirty thing!

Who cares? We'll find that out after we take over the world.

Not important

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11. Are you gay/lesbian, bisexual, or transsexual/transgendered/transvestite?

Yes

No, and I hate them gay faggots!

Of course not! Being gay is an abomination in God's eyes!

Nope

No, and I don't think they should get equal rights either.

Not important

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12. True or False: diseases are caused by evil spirits.

True

False

They MIGHT be! We'd better teach that AND bacteria in schools just in case.

Not sure

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13. True or False: evolution happened.

Of course it did. How else would we end up being so superior to animals?

No! Evolution is a lie! God created everything in exactly seven 24-hour days!

Of course it happened. If it didn't, this planet would be lifeless.

Nothing evolved! Allah created all things!

It might have, but it might not have. We'd better teach kids evolution AND creationism just in case!

Not sure

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14. Are black people naturally stupid?

No, they're on the same level as every other human.

No, they're just as smart/dumb as everyone else.

Yes, they're dumber than us white people.

Yes, they are inferior "mud people". Without souls.

Yes, they aren't in the Master Race like we blond-haired, blue-eyed white people are.

No, unless they're gay.

Not sure

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15. Can you speak, read, or understand any foreign languages?

Yes, but only Arabic so I can keep in touch with my Al-Qaeda buddies.

Yes, but only German.

Yes, at least one

Not important

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16. True or False: men are ALWAYS stronger than women.

True

False

Not sure

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17. Which of the following would you be most likely to kill?

18. Animals are people too.

Yes they are, and we stupid humans had better realize that.

Of course not! They're just dumb animals!

Ain't them there animals for eatin'?

No, animals aren't people, they're gifts from God for us to use. Yes, use. As if they were tools, not living things.

No opinion

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19. Is there life on other planets?

There has to be--why would only this little speck, out of the entire universe, have life?

Maybe, but if there WERE aliens they'd be evil and want to kill us.

No, of course there aren't! Did the Bible say anything about aliens?

I seen that there U.F.O., y'know, the one last summer! I might'a been drunk, though...

Not sure

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20. True or False: Humans are the only intelligent species on Earth.

True

False

Not sure

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21. What racial/ethnic group does God like the most?

Whites, duh!

Middle Eastern

Americans! We're ONE COUNTRY UNDER GOD, and all that bullcrap!

All of us... except the gay ones.

All races are equal, as long as they're humans.

None of them, dumbass.

Men! Oh wait, that's not exactly a race... but still!

Blond-haired, blue-eyed white people are the master race!

Not sure

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22. If you went to a foreign country...

I'd only be going to kill some Americans.

I'd be going to kill some Jews.

I'd probably get shot at.

What? Ya mean them places they always showin' on TV is real??

I'd be going as a part of the US Army, probably to kill some Muslims.

I'd be surprised at how well they treat "animals".

I'd be shocked by how much more rights gay people have there.

Not sure

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23. In school, your best subject was...

Math

Science

P.E.

Well, I didn't do so well in that there "school" thing...

I went to a Christian school.

Lunch.

Not sure

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24. Do you own any costumes, other than those for Halloween?

Yep, I got my nice hooded white robe...

I've got my uniform, because der fuhrer says so.

Not really, though I do always keep a turban at hand.

Not really, but my huntin' gear is sorta like a costume...

Nope.

Not important

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25. What do you think of vegetarians?

They're stupid! Animals are God's gift to us, we should eat them!

They're stupid! We need meat!

Nothing wrong with not eating meat. They're OK.

As long as my wife still cooks me meat, I don't give a crap.

Vegetarians? Are those like those stupid Jews that won't eat pigs?

We're better than animals, so why not eat 'em?

No opinion

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