Which Figure From Early Soviet History Are You? a free History selector.

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Which Figure From Early Soviet History Are You?

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A SelectSmart.com History Selector by Tegan, created May 2004.
In the turbulent times after the Bolshevik-led October Revolution, would you appear as a simple-minded, taciturn bureaucrat like Stalin? A brilliant but antagonistic Trotsky? Or maybe someone less in the limelight, such as Lenin's wife, Krupskaya? Disclaimer.

The first question is below.

1. Which of the following comments best describes your looks?

"You're an ugly puck. You look like you've never combed your hair with anything but a towel!"

"You're decidedly homely, but your homeliness is that of a bulldog, having nothing unwholesome about it. You are short, though."

"You have the typical face of a Russian Jewish intellectual. You're unusually handsome for a Bolshevik, too."

"You always look a little constipated, and your moustache needs a trim."

"You're not beautiful, but one might remark on your strong jaw and finely drawn eyebrows, despite your too-full lips."

"You are overweight and unpleasant looking. If you are a woman, you have too much make-up on and if you are a man, put your shirt on."

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

2. How intelligent are you?

Quite a bit above average.

Quite a bit below average.

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

3. How cultured (i.e. Europeanized) are you?

Extremely cultured. I speak several civilized languages and have traveled extensively, and I very much appreciate the fine arts.

Somewhat cultured. I've got passable French and/or German, and I try to share Marxism's cosmopolitan ideals.

I'm provincial and proud of it. I don't accept the decadent bourgeois arts, and I love my Mother Russia!

Uhm . . . does Seinfeld count as culture? Hey, the dude's Jewish, isn't he?

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

4. Are you more good-humored or prickly?

Quite good-humored and witty.

More on the prickly side.

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

5. Are you ever called "too extreme"?

Sure, all the time!

Only by the burzhooi (bourgeois).

What, me, extreme? I'm always on the approved side of an issue!

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

6. In the Party, what position do you prefer to play?

Something with lots of followers, attention, and opportunity to shine.

Something with lots of power, glamorous or not.

Something unassuming and bureaucratic.

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

7. You want to socialize agriculture. Do you:

Make the kulaks (rich peasants) pay heavy taxes in the form of produce. Come around and take it by force.

Immediately collectivize the land and have peasants work directly for the government. Treat kulaks as part of the bourgeoisie.

Give the peasants lots of breaks when they can stand around and socialize.

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

8. What about trade unions?

Who needs them? This is a workers' state, after all. They'll only serve to divide the proletariat.

We need them to ensure workers have a voice independent of the party.

They're all a bunch of pinko commies.

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

9. Would you ever renounce your ideals and/or old friends?

Never. The future will triumph, be it over the bleaching bones of the present. On this I stake my life.

Yes, to save my own political career and/or life.

Yes. Not for personal gain, but I'm a pragmatist. Sometimes you have to compromise to get anywhere.

What ideals? What friends? It's all about power.

Why, sure, for a scooby snack.

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

10. How good an orator are you?

Among the best of modern times.

Good, though it's not my major talent.

Oration isn't my forte'.

Har har har. My girlfriend/boyfriend seems to think so.

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

11. Russia is depleted and her people fatigued by the travails of WWI. It's up to you to decide on your policy toward Germany & Co. What'll it be?

We must pursue revolutionary war! What will it look like if we give in to the imperial powers so early on? The peace treaty is humiliating and we can't afford the loss of that much territory.

We should sign the peace at whatever cost. Our people supported us largely because we promised to end this imperialist war. Our land and infrastructure can't take any more fighting, and we face almost certain defeat if we try.

I will make a dramatic statement to the capitalist leaders best summed up as "no war, no peace". We will cease resistance and thus force them declare their imperialist aims openly if they persist in attacking Russia. If this fails, I will by default sign the peace.

This is too hard. Is that tsar still around and would he like to take back the government for a while?

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

12. What do you mostly read?

Anything and everything. On a long train ride recently, I read "The Iliad", and I try to keep up on modern novels and poetry.

Mostly Marxist theory and the news of the day. I don't have time to read for pleasure.

Usually just party documents these days, although I have a special fondness for the poet Nekrasov.

Prioritize your choice above:


High	Medium	Low

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