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How Will You Die?
Have you ever wondered how you'll meet your demise? Usually we don't know what the Grim Reaper has in mind for us until the end is in sight. Until now. Answer all these question to the best of your ability and we'll predict what will do you in. Admit it. You're dying to know!

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1. What is your name?
First name only, if you prefer.

2. What is your gender?

Male

Female


3. How old are you?

14 or less

15-24

25-34

35-44

45-54

55-64

65 or more


4. What is your race/ethnicity?

American Indian/Alaskan Native

Asian/Pacific Islander

Black

Hispanic

White

Other (combination)


5. Which of these diseases have your ancestors died of?
Alzheimers

Benign Neoplasms (Tumors)

Cerebro-vascular Disease (Stroke)

Chronic Lower Respiratory Disease (Emphysema, chronic bronchitis)

Circulatory System Disease

Diabetes

HIV

Heart Disease

Hypertension

Influenza & Pneumonia

Liver Disease

Malignant Neoplasms (Cancer)

Nephritis and Nephrosis (Kidney disease)

Respiratory Distress

Septicemia (Systemic infection)


6. According to your doctor and/or medical charts what term best describes your weight?

Underweight

Normal

Overweight

Obese

Morbidly obese


7. Do you drink alcohol?

Yes, like a fish

Yes, occasionally (a drink or two a day or less)

No


8. Do you smoke?

Yes, like chimney

Yes, but on rare occasion

No


9. What best describes your level of physical activity?

Inactive, sedentary--I'm a couch potato.

Moderate--I enjoy a walk or other light exercise.

Vigorous--I consider myself an athlete.


10. Are you now or do you plan to be employed in the following jobs?
Bullfighter

Cat burglar

Chauffeur

Commercial fisher

Construction worker

Dentist

Detective

Doctor

Farmer

Food batchmaker (operates food mixer in processed food plant)

Forester

Guard

High wire circus performer

Judge

Lathe & turning machine operator

Lawyer

Mafia informant

Mathematician

Miner

Nurses

Police officer

Prison snitch

Pornographic movie performer

Salesperson

Scientist

Social worker

Taxicab driver

Tool and die maker

Tornado chaser

Urban planner

White female painter, sculptor, or artist.


11. What are your religious views/activities?

Attend a house of worship regularly

Atheist/agnostic

Cult member


12. How much time do you spend in the car?

Less than 30,0000 miles per year

More than 30,0000 miles per year


13. Are you diabetic?

Yes

No


14. Which of these activities do you do?
Bicycling

Canoeing/kayaking/rafting

Cheating at cards

Coin/stamp collecting

Dating wives of jealous husbands

Dueling

Fishing

Freestyle mountain and cliff climbing

Gorging on food

Having unprotected gay sex

Horseback riding

Hunting

Illegal drag racing

Jogging/running

Russian roulette

Skydiving

Snow skiing/Snowboarding

Swimming

Using intravenous drugs

Walking

Water skiing

Other


15. What is your economic situation?

Poor

Middle class

Rich

16. In your next life, what would you like to be?

A cowboy.

A baker.

An astronaut.

An actor.

A gardener.

A vacuum cleaner.

W.C. Fields.

A hypochondriac.

A criminal lawyer.

An auctioneer.

A farmer.

A teacher.

Donald Trump

A military leader.

A vulture.

An angel.

Nothing. I don't believe in an afterlife or god.

17. Aren't you glad that you survived Coronavirus?

Yes. The worst seems to be over. Here the most recent statistics on daily COVID deaths in the US. Before COVID, the average US death rate was about 7,700 per day. Currently, nearly all COVID deaths are among the unvaccinated and the unboosted.

Now that you have answered all the questions, continue to the How Will I Die? button below.