A decision tree for NFL players
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Are you in the middle of a play where you are expected to tackle or block?
|
YES
|
Hit this person in a Goodell approved way!
|
| |
| |
| |
NO
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Is this person attacking you?
|
YES
|
Are they using deadly force?
|
YES
|
Are you in a "Stand Your Ground" state?
|
YES
|
Go ahead and hit this person wherever and however you would like.
|
| |
NO
|
|
NO
|
|
|
YES
|
|
|
|
|
Is this person a woman, child, or a close relative?
|
|
Are they only verbally attacking you?
|
YES
|
Are they Peter King?
|
NO
|
Don't hit this person. Maybe say something mean about them on Twitter instead.
|
| |
NO
|
YES
|
|
NO
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Are you arguing and they have a really stupid face?
|
NO
|
Is there a mosquito or other biting/stinging insect on them they can't see?
|
|
Respond with enough force to defend yourself, or just run away. I bet you have the faster 40 time.
|
| |
| |
|
YES
|
NO
|
YES
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
Do they really deserve it?
|
|
Yell "AAAHHHH, BUG!" and slap ineffectually at the insect.
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
DO NOT HIT THIS PERSON. It is illegal and makes you look like a jackass.
|
| |
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Should you hit this person?
More flowcharts
