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| English horn. Look it up, it's awesome!!! |
| French horn. It's my favorite. It's french. (Plus, you play it with your left hand) |
| Viola. Better than a violin, but there's a lot of bad jokes out there about violists... |
| Cello. Big, bad, and extremely cool. |
| Clarinet. My best friend plays it, and it looks cool. |
| Trumpet. It's OK. |
| Violin. I generally don't prefer this, but if it works it works. |
| Flute. It's the most competitive and prettiest sounding, if you're good... |
| Percussion. All you do is hit things and make noise. |
| Forget it. Do something else. Teach math to incapable college students. |
| Oboe. Beginners sound pretty dismal, but if you practice enough it sounds really pretty |
| Tuba. Also big, bad, and loud. But without the strings. |
| Harp. It's really pretty, but takes a lot of dedication to transport it. |
| Bassoon. The largest kind with reeds, and looks like a telephone pole. |
| Piano. Part of the percussion AND strings! |
| Guitar. You can only pull this one off if you wear a bandana on your head or sing while you play. |