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| Take a long hard look at yourself |
| Take the picture out of your wallet & remember who your family are |
| Get a grip on reality, you are human |
| Repeat this mantra," I will turn off the computer " |
| You do need real people in your life |
| Your computer is a machine not your lover |
| Hey, your eyes are turning square |
| Why are you strating to glow in the dark? |
| Your mother warned you not to talk to strangers |
| Who gives a stuff? |
| Old friends are good friends |
| Real friends are the best friends |
| Your inner child is having hysterics |
| Are you sure you are straight? |
| Your feminine side has permanent PMT |
| Your masculine side is atrophying with your muscles |
| You are half ape half human |
| The aliens are knocking on the door for you |
| Life's a bitch and then you marry one |
| If you must go down memory lane, at least go parking |
| Your wife will efax you in the morning |
| Your psychiatrist is trying to email you |
| Your shoulders are now permanently hunched to match your squint |
| Have your family moved and you haven't noticed? |
| Do you find yourself wasting time devising quizes? |