The Elite Ice Hockey League (EIHL) is a professional ice hockey league in the United Kingdom.
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Give a lot of games.
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AN OFFENCE HAS BEEN COMMITTED!
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Award the suspension recommended by whichever team owner shouts at you the loudest.
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They probably deserved it. But give one game just to be safe.
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YES
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YES
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OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE WILL HE EVER LEARN?
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YES
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Was it committed by Andrew Conboy?
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NO
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Was it a Nottingham Panther/Sheffield Steeler?
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YES
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Was it committed by a Panther on a Steeler or vice versa?
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NO
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Was it committed on
a Scottish opponent?
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YES
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NO
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NO
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NO
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NO
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Are you sure?
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YES
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Was it committed by a Gardiner Conference player?
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YES
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Was it AGAINST Nottingham or Sheffield?
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YES
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DESTROY THE SINNERS! (Or at least ban them for ages)
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One game. Maybe two if there's likely to be a fuss.
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NO
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NO
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YES
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NO
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Neither are we.
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So it was an Erhardt player then?
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YES
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Do they have form?
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NO
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And they play for Nottingham or Sheffield?
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YES
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So they do play for Nottingham or Sheffield? One game then.
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NO
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YES
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NO
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Then you're probably using the wrong flowchart. Go somewhere else.
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What do you mean, we have to still do something? Do we really have to?
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NO
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No, the fans will notice! Won't they?
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NO
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But what if they do?
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YES
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NO
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YES
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OK. Was their offence a really REALLY bad one?
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YES
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No, they really will. They have Twitter and everything now.
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"They won't"
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NO
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YES
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"The EIHL has decided the original penalty is sufficient"
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YES
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Can we ignore it, then?
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NO
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Oh God. Quick. Make something up. It's not like they're expecting us to be consistent or anything, right?
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EIHL Disciplinary Process Flowchart (Probably)
