Humor Poll: Do You Have A Mental Illness? Vote for your top choice from the list below. This poll is based upon the selector "Do You Have A Mental Illness?" by Jesse James. Translate: Choose from this list: Schizophrenia: "Initial symptoms may include delusions and hallucinations, disorganized behavior and/or speech. As the disorder progresses symptoms such as flattening or inappropriate affect may develop." (DSM IV) Antisocial Personality Disorder: "Symptoms include longstanding pattern of disregard for rights of others, failure to conform to norms and expectations of society, irritability, physical aggression. Patients often get in trouble with the law." (DSM IV) Substance Disorder: "A pattern of substance use leading to significant impairment in functioning. recurrent use resulting in a failure to fulfill major obligations at work, school, or home; recurrent use in situations which are physically hazardous (drinking and driving)." (DSM IV) Gender Identity Disorder: "Strong and persistent identification with the opposite gender. Patients often feel as though they were born in the wrong bodies." (DSM IV) Narcissistic Personality Disorder: "Symptoms revolve around the pattern of need for admiration and sense of entitlement. Patients require a lot of praise and feel they are superior to everyone else. They can only associate with others like themselves." (DSM IV) Bipolar Disorder (Manic-Depression): "Bipolar I involves episodes of extreme mania followed by depression. Patients experience and intense high while manic. Bipolar II is the same as Bipolar I except manic episodes of Bipolar I patients are 'hypomanic' meaning they are less severe than those of Bipolar II." (DSM IV) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): "The key features of this disorder include obsessions (persistent, often irrational, and seemingly uncontrollable thoughts) and compulsions (actions which are used to neutralize the obsessions). Over washing ones hands can be considered obsessive compulsive." (DSM IV) Depersonalization Disorder: "Symptoms include being in a dreamlike state and feeling as though your body does not belong to you. It is a feeling of unreality." (DSM IV) Primary Insomnia: "Symptoms include the inability to fall asleep, difficulty falling or remaining asleep for a period of no less than a month." (DSM IV) Dissociative Identity Disorder: "Symptoms include multiple distinct personalities existing within a individual." (DSM IV) Pathological Gambling Disorder: "Persistent and maladaptive gambling, which affects how one functions." (DSM IV) Transvestic Fetishism: "Symptoms include being a heterosexual male wanting and craving to wear women's clothing (cross-dressing)." (DSM IV) Social Phobia: "Symptoms include either extreme anxiety and or fear associated with the judgement of self by others." (DSM IV) Without Mental Illness: "Sound in mind; free from mental disturbances." See the newest and search for polls here: