The Dead Philosopher Adventure

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A SelectSmart.com Philosophy Selector by MistressDeath, created September 2001.
Have you ever crawled from the warm recesses of you bedchamber one morning and wondered, "If I were a dead philosopher, who would I be?" I didn't think so. You should, however, embark upon The Dead Philosopher Adventure anyways. It is full of things you want to see, like sock suspender questions, bitter proponents of pessimism, and bleak existentalists. Yay! Disclaimer.


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The first selector question is below.

1. Do you consider the pursuit of happiness a futile endeavor?

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2. Do you believe that humans have free will...

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3. Or do you think that we are all puppets of our desires?

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4. Do you like sock suspenders?

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5. Is your idea of morality based upon something like the Golden Rule...

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6. or something like the Golden Mean?

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7. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about, you pretentious sack of flesh?

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8. Are you often told taht you are vague, sketchy, or mysterious?

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9. Is passivity the best thing since sock suspenders?

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10. Would you say that god created humans...

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11. or that humans created god?

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12. Speaking of the old fellow, do you think he has any relevance to us, as humans?

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13. Do the last 3 questions not matter at all because the answers cannot be known?

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14. Were you raised by aproximately 7 women, without a male role model?

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15. If you answered, "yes" to #2, do you think that we only have free will because God wants us to choose Him/Her?

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16. Are you paranoid, sometimes to the point of stashing a gun under your bed?

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17. Hegel sucks!

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18. Morals are the biggest roadblock to human development.

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19. Do you support feminism, detest ageism, and enjoy theater of the absurd?

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20. Do the words metaphysics, axiology, epistomology mean anything to you?

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21. "Each shall count for one, " even animals.

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22. Does the phrase, "Raise your act to a universal law" send tingles down your spine?

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23. Are bespectacled playwrights a turn-on?

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24. And finally... can The Truth be Known?

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