ARROWED! Ow, your skin! Looks like you want to go quickly and painfully. Although slowly would have been cooler...
MSG'd! Ow, your stomach lining! Seriously, you need to watch your eating habits more carefully.
CEREBELLUM'd! So that big brain got you with its deadly mind waves? James Bond's gonna have a tough time with that thing.
CHILDREN! Just when you thought you had it all figured out, a van with a random sound effect ran you over. Not seeing it coming is a good thing, though.
VOIP! You know, that robot wouldn't have zapped you if you'd gone outside or something where he couldn't find you. Hope you like barbeque, because that's how you got cooked.
PUNT! You were destined to reach for the stars, and now you shall as a dinosaur kicks your butt into the ionosphere! Oh, and there's no oxygen in space. Dag, yo.
BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT! You just gonna stand there and let some tiny alien named Thomas hit you with a bat? I'm sorry, but that's pathetic.
NO, YOU'RE NOT! An iron weight and a sack of potatoes from the sky remind you that you're not cool. At least you don't need social skillz in Heaven! Yay!
POSSUMS... That ornery mob of beasts sure can fight like badgers. That'll teach you to love nature, uh...Mr.(s)....Nature Shoes. Yeah! So there!
BOTTOMLESS SPIRIT PIT! Aaahhh! At least you fell for a loyal cause - your high school's football team. Go Growlbacks!