Have you got a short joke brewing in your head? Use this handy tool to help you decide if you should crack it out.
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Go home now.
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Does your joke refer to the weather?
| NO
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Do you know me?
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YES
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NO
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Are you a member of my family?
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Have you said any other words to me?
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YES
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NO
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YES
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NO
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Fair play, there's probably a history of this sort of shit.
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Are you significantly taller than me?
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Are you a customer of some company on whose behalf I am currently acting as a representative?
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What is wrong with you? Have you no social skills?
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NO
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YES
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NO
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YES
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Are you shorter than me?
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Would I be comfortable telling you to fuck off?
| NO
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Are you actually a stand-up comedian?
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Please get someone else to do your shopping in future. Chances are you don't have a wife or friends, but there may be a sibling or care worker who can take care of your needs so no one has to put up with your shit.
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NO
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YES
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YES
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NO
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Get out.
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Go ahead. I probably will, but no doubt we'll both have a sense of humour about it.
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Alright then. A job's a job.
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Nope.
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